Horoscope Sign

Horoscope Dancing Abilties!

When it comes to “dancing with the stars”, nobody can deny the tango is the ultimate in ball room shenanigans. We say this because only the other day a friend had an astro reading done and the astrologer told her that due to her horoscope sign placement, she would soon be dancing around a ballroom with her Mr. Right. But what sun sign would do well on the dance floor? And what does a horoscope sign have to do with that dancing style anyway?

On investigating the varied tendencies of one horoscope sign compared to another horoscope sign, we came up with a ballroom Richter scale dance meter for various horoscope signs, which we will list as follows

Virgo

A definite six on the Richter scale in ball room matters. Our Virgo would find it hard to let himself go and flow into the dance routine. Trouble would start when the tango moved into the “Arrestre” step – a move in which Virgo’s foot would need to drag his partner’s foot in a new direction. At this point, afraid of losing control, this Virgo Tango could morph into a “Battle of the Titans” with each partner pushing at the other’s foot in pure exasperation. This can result in unfortunate mishaps such as the frustrated Virgo tripping over their partner in an attempt to stick their foot too far out to the right, or crashing to the floor as they try to force their partner to veer into a “Quick Step”. Consistent trip ups, stumbles and tumbles can only be the result of a Virgo’s tango attempts.

Pisces

A definite 8 on the dance floor Richter scale. Our Pisces is Mr. Intuition in person. Since his motto is “go with the flow” he will manage to twirl thru tango moves, such as the “Calesita” with utter grace. He will then allow himself to be pulled forward, balancing gracefully on one foot, while his partner walks backwards creating a circle around them both. More pure Pisces style will follow with our fish literally sliding across the floor, as he surrenders to that sweet tango rhythm. Conjoined to the body of his partner like an Elastoplast, synchronicity, grace and sensuality oozing out of his every pore, only momentary moments of clumsiness, such as tripping up over an undone shoe lace, would ruin the overall effect.

Libra

A definite 5 on the dance floor Richter Scale. The Cadena, a repetitive number of moves, comprised of a series of chain twirls or steps around his partner, would have our poor Libra totally stumped. In fact he would fall into despair, tortured by indecision. Do we veer to the left or the right of the “Cadena” our indecisive Libra would think? Should we wait one second or two as we turn our right foot out and bend back into an arm clinch? Such a situation could lead to total immobility, with our confused Libra and his irritated partner eying each up with more than a hint of perplexity.

Scorpio

Nine out of ten on the dance floor Richter scale. The Scorpio would be in his element with the Gancho step, virtually any move where a partner’s legs hooks around a thigh. Finally, our Mr Sexy can go for that tantalizing tango and express himself totally. Excelling in every sultry glance, hip twist and sensually measured foot twirl he guides his partner into corporeal oblivion as they merge into one compact expression of dance floor sensual harmony.

Cancer

An unsure seven on the dance floor Richter scale, for much depends on what mood our Mr. Cancer is in. If he is in the right mood, his tango could go down in the annals of history. With those perfected Adornos decorative steps, his Alterations, his Boleos, that leg of his whipping across his partner’s thigh in style, he could even put those Argentinean dudes to shame. Yes, sensuality could be his second name. However, if he is not in a good mood, we will see him embarrassingly trying to poke his partner into a repetitive sequence of moves and in his bad tempered crab get away insist on walking backwards to the exit. This could lead to a serious row with his tango promoters and end his dance career for ever

So you see a horoscope sign does have a purpose on the dance floor and hopefully can save us all from chronic embarrassment.