Virgo Horoscope

Find Your Mr Wonderful!

Tick as appropriate

1. Your Mr. Wonderful has a compulsion to brush each speck of dust off his tatty old tweed racket, before he digs the flower beds.

2. Your Mr. Wonderful will never go to work without polished shoes.

3. Your Mr. Wonderful has the plaster and disinfectant out on the kitchen table, BEFORE you cut your finger chopping carrots.

4. Your Mr. Wonderful cannot stand messy folks, i.e. people who slurp on their “before dinner drinks” and gobble down their pizza.

5. Your Mr. Wonderful has useful telephone numbers under his finger tips, the fire station, the emergency ward, the accountants, the plumbers and the local Chinese takeaway should an asteroid plunge into planet earth next week.

6. Your Mr. Wonderful likes to make sure the kitchen and bathroom cupboards are full of toilet paper, cotton wool, disinfectant, soap, soup, cans of baked beans, cornflakes and alfalfa seeds etc. just in case the earth shifts on its axis next week.

7. Your Mr. Wonderful is prone to nine on the Richter scale worry fits and last but not least:

8. Your Mr. Wonderful is not that inclined to read their Virgo horoscope, unless it is written by a well known astrologer.

Wonderful Virgo

Okay, you have ticked off the list and found out that your Mr. Wonderful is indeed a Virgo. So obviously he will be a great friend and lover, that is if you are his physical, emotional and mental ideal. If his ideal has brown eyes, blue eyes will bore him. If he accepts your coloured contact lenses, however, his heart will be yours forever and burn strong, deep, true and silent.

Seriously, your Mr. Wonderful likes all that sensual magic, he digs big, earthy passion, but could be inclined to act a little too strong and silent when asked “do you love me?” Mr. Virgo will not balk at giving you presents however, but he will tend to bury his gold under the old oak tree and spend five years writing his will, he wants to be sure of the small print.

As you wave the Virgo horoscope in his calm, handsome face, your Mr. Wonderful might ask you to read it out to him, without mumbling and stuttering of course. Mr. Wonderful likes his Virgo horoscope clarified in a very loud voice, because he could be at the other end of the garden digging an underground bomb shelter in case nuclear war strikes next week.

As you yell out his Virgo Horoscope he will nod; he wants you to know that he is interested. But he is not that convinced really. How do you know Virgo is clashing with Saturn next week? Have you checked the facts? Have you done the calculations? Are you sure that horoscope is giving you good value? If you give him a mo he will suss out the real facts on his portable astro analyzer and just to make sure you are getting value for money, on his portable calculator too.

You insist you got your facts straight and that the Virgo Horoscope is free. It says his sign is earth, mutable and ruled by Mercury and that his symbol is the Virgin. Even if he blushes at that, even if he has his little fixations, your Mr. Wonderful is as strong as he is earthy, as practical as he is street wise, as gorgeous as he is sexy, so what if he answers your questions with another question and insists on working out your holiday schedule because you are incapable of adding up two and two. You can be sure that air times, bus times and the time it takes to walk from the taxi to the check in desk will be perfectly calculated, what could be more reassuring than that? You see, once your wonderful Virgo loves you, he might read his Virgo Horoscope just to make you happy, but he knows better of course!